It has been a long while since I have stopped writing. Totally. I managed to update my facebook though, when the emptiness is not so apparent to my heart. I do not want to share my misery to the world, cos I feel like that is so not me.
Live changes.
Alhamdulillah, a lot of positive moves were brought into my life. But a great impact has put a swell in to my heart and has widened the empty gap in my soul when I lost Mama. The one person I have always loved, have always tried hard to love but has left me to face the world alone. The one person that understood me when the words were left unspoken, the only one person who could tell whether I was angry or sad only by hearing my voice, only by looking at my shadows. Subhanallah, such intelligence You have into such person. Forgive me Allah if I failed to be the daughter Mama had wanted. Forgive me Ya Allah for not takimg care of her wholeheartedly.
For the lacking of me for whatever Mama had wished from me but I have failed to be one, I deserve this emptiness. But I beg You Ya Allah, please do not let this emptiness deter the love I have for my husband and my Papa.
And though I am not as pious as I should be, my faith for You Ya Allah has never changed. I love You Ya Allah more than ever, and there's nothing greater than You in my heart ya Allah.
Al-Fatihah to the greatest Mama I could ever have. May Allah bless her with Jannah, ameen. Subhanallah, I miss her so much Ya Allah.
